Knitting

Knitting is such a fun sport. I just watch my mommy as she knits furiously away, and we talk. It's a great way to exercise the eyes, vocal cords, and gluteas maximus.

But it can also be a very dangerous sport. So knit at your risk... As I today attempted to grab the two metal needles and the feathering hot pink yarn, I had barely done two sets when a fierce south wind blew the yarn askew, and the needles tore themselves from my strong hand grip.

One needle came hurtling at high speeds towards my left eye and pierced half and inch into my cornea and iris. The puncture let out some vitreous fluid.
The other needle flew ten feet into the air before finally rushing down at great speeds to spear a great hole in the occipital lobe of my cerebrum. My left eye is now completely blind. But I am not one to cry or feel sorry for myself. No, indeed. I feel it is my duty to educate others about the dangers of knitting to prevent such a terrible fate from happening on them.

AT last, I can serve my people in a truly good way. My heart beams with pride. My left eye rolls in ecstasy in its bloody socket. I have completely mashed my left eye into a state of irreparable grounded meat from my sheer anger. Now that the anger has subsided, and I am feeling rather hungry...would you care to dine with me in mashed eyeball?

Hey yesterday on fear factor they made the peeps eat fish, cow, and sheep eye balls. i have eaten fish. I don't like it, but it's "good for my vision." Oh old wive's tales.