Essay of My Beliefs

I have not posted in typing in a long time and yet I have commented much on my views on religion in Stephanie's Xanga in which I want to myself keep a record of so that in the future I shall look upon it and note the ideas and feelings of a 17 year old-so headstrong and yet so confused. Also I want to share with others my ideas and challenge them to think outside their box for a moment if only to retreat back inside after reading what I have to say. I must admit that I myself am guilty of some degree of narrow-mindedness. I am not easily swayed by my peers' arguments in favor of the existence of God, but that is not because I don't want to believe. I do. Only, I can't fool myself and trick myself into thinking that I really truly believe. I only partially believe. There are too many other possibilities, albeit less desirable, but oftentimes more logical and supportable with hard evidence.

Below I have copied and pasted all my philosophical/religious responses to Steph's posts:

Although I must admit I still do not comply with many of your views, I do truly admire how strongly you stand to your beliefs and faith. I, myself, am still caught in a limbo trying to understand the universe, life, and the human soul. I will say that although in many of my posts I take the side of the aetheist, I am actually not. I am, rather, unsure about the existence of God. I can make arguments for myself for either side and both to be equally well supported. I will make this statement. There is no proof for a God or for that there isn't one. Much of your strong faith is based on exactly that-faith. I am naturally a skeptic. I will critically question one who states firmly that there is no God, no past lives,or no eternity of the human soul as promptly as I would question one such as yourself-so sure about the validity of the Bible and its teachings and in God and Christ.

You see there are the miracles like the picture of the tears and eyes and the dreams that was shown in the assembly and many more such as these that science alone can't explain. But actually...in studying some very abstract sciences there are explanations for such phenomena but then these explanations support the theory, also, that there exists some sort of supernatural entity-thus proving the existence of God. And so science can just as easily "prove" the existence of God as it just as easily denounce these "proofs". For you see, science hasn't yet and may never disprove the existence of God but only to disprove the theories set forth trying to prove the existence of a God.

I like to say to such "proofs": I do not claim to know whether or not God exists. But I do know this. This does in no way prove the existence of God. And then I would explore the reasons why that the "proof" was no proof.

And you know the truth...Deeep down in my heart, I wish there was a God. Sometimes I really feel like there is one who understands me in and out. There have been occasions that may even be passed as for miracles that tell me there had to be some Godlike force behind it. And I believe this Godlike force exists for everybody in the world although there are many, opposing interpretations existant that try to explain it. It is the same good force for all despite the billions of interpretations and yet because it is allmighty is is adaptive to everyone's differences.

When my mom was about 7 she lived in China with her 3 siblings and parents in a small cottage/farm. One night when everyone was in a deep slumber she dreampt that some voice (resembling that of God) was calling for her to wake and save her siblings and family because there was a fire. Sure enough when she woke she ran into the next room with her sisters in it to find a fire just ignited when the incense for one of the Buddhist goddesses fell upon the wooden table and sparked. Already it was quickly consuming the room and yet her sisters slept soundly. ANyhow, she managed to save her sisters and the house save for half of that room. My mom claimed that the voice belonged the very goddess whose incense lighted the room afire but upon my further questioning she said she didnt really know. She knew it was a Godlike force and it spoke to her but she saw it not. I personally believe that it was the God-this universal force that so many people find so many ways of worshipping in this world. ANyways that is just one story of many "miracles" I have that would be put in my "support for existence of God" databank.

But then always my critical, analytical side kicks in with another huge argument which I care not to divulge more of(as I have already talked enough about it and probably picking up too much grudge from the many Super faithful Christians that read this Xanga). So rock on everybody and smile and remember to love our diversity and not grow bitter and hateful from them!
Posted 4/28/2005 at 8:43 PM by ellalinda

I dont mean to be a Bitch but you know I so disagree with you on everything religious. ANd knowing me, I can't resist to give my argument and dissenmting side. DOn't take any of this personally. Our ideas and beliefs clash, and I will rot if I let this entry stay without debate.

"If evolution is true and the big bang is where it all started, a tornado must be able to go through Home Depot, tear everything up, and result in a beautiful, fully functioning two-story house. If that ever happens, let me know. "

What?? Your argument doesnt even make sense. Science makes sense. It doesn't make something neat out of something messy. Study the Big Bang Theory before you bash it. The universe perfers entropy so actually it would perfer to keep the mess the hurricane made a mess and not make a house out of it. Making a house out of it takes extra energy. Doesnt breaking something take so much less energy than firxing it? Well the universe perfers routes that take less energy and let me tell you your argument doesn't comply with the universe's rules.

Plus, isn't God supposedly all powerful? If this is indeed so why does he not make a beautiful house out of a hurricane wreck? If he is all-loving and forgiving why does he send those "sinners" and non-believers to such a terrible place as hell? What does he do with the majority of the people on this world who are rasied up in an environment that supports some other religious standards not guided by the Bible. You say everyone in the world has been exposed to Christianity and has had the opportunity to convert to Christianity. This may be true. But you and most Americans have been exposed to Buddhism. WHy AREN"T YOU CONVERTING?? YOU AREN"T GOING TO MAKE IT TO ENL:IGHTENMENT IF YOU DON"T!!!! Steph, people can't help but follow the standards taught them in their culture and family. You can't expect these people to "do the right thing" and convert. True True. Quote me the rare few that do break away from their standards and convert to Christianity. But isn't that openly ignoring the huge majority??? How could such a perfect God show such examples of wrath and do something to the effect of flooding the entire world to kill all people, sinful or not, and save only one family and 2 of each animal not to mention that story is almost fairy tale like and unrealistic. FItting 2 of every animal on an ARK?? Ok...with God's al.might power that could be possible...

Let me explain a little of th Big Bang, and now I don't claim to be an expert although I do love reading books on theoretical physics. The Big Bang, however it started-probably some cycle-is the theory of expanding gases that react to create more complex elements and through billions of years create the complex reactions we know today. Life is merely a result of chemical experiments-random merely but yet not for it satisfies the laws of the universe. It is so impossible for you to imagine that the universe could evolve from some gas particles and a big expanding force and yet this can all be backed up by mathematics and chemistry and physics. How did God originate in order to create the universe? Why ofcourse he is an eternal force who has always existed! What backs up this theory? FAITH, by God. FAITH!! The tool and excuse of people needing some explanation for the supposedly unexplainable miracles in the world and wanting WANTING for something to exxist for them after life. WE ALL want this. It is a part of our animal mentality. LIVE-LIVE-LIVE. NO I can't accept death!!! But with something a certain future that can be guaranteed to us after death-if only we worship this supernatural force-why we would guarantee ourselves one wonderful place to live in after death! Sounds jovial. Let's go. All I have to do is to blindly force myself to have faith and worship all of God's wonderful virtues. What's to lose?? Oh those terrible, sinful nonbelievers!! They will surely be sent to hell.

Oh and don't forget this human written Bible backs up God's existence. Sure people once believed just as devoutly in mythology but those people were fools. Ours is very, very credible.

Oh and a World without Christ...PLEASE. If you love and appreciate Him then rest assured you will make it into his Heaven and receive God's blessings. I don't believe in him as a SAINt and savior. SO I am afraid that I will be sent to hell to burn if the Bible is correct. It is wonderful you have the beliefs you do but you shouldn't shake your head cause others don't share it. We are all entitled to our beliefs. What makes yours better than everyone elses'? What gives you right to shake your head and belittle the virtue and humanity of others? As I see it most Christians are only a bunch of narrow-minded bigots.

SO YOU Again I differ vastly with you in my views of religion.. PLEASE don't be offended. Sides we have had our number of bashes in English last year over this subject. I still think you are a wonderful person. ONly I tried so hard after reading this entry to keep it in but I can't. I HAVE to respond and blast everyone to please at least hear a dissenting side. Continue to believe what you want but not so doggedly. You see other views are as virtuos and deserving as yours. DO NOT PITY or feel sad for those who dont believe in what u do.
Posted 4/19/2005 at 11:30 PM by ellalinda


I am glad to see you are as adamant on your views as I. I still remain unconvinced as you do since reading my argument but at least we both got our chance to voice our views. Anyhow I don't feel like typing another diatribe. By the way, I have an aunt who moved to America and converted to Christianity from Buddhism who I am very close to. She likes to teach me her religion. I have read parts of the diary and I love debating religion with people whose ideas oppose mine. I do not believe in the Bible religiously although I agree there is some historical credibility to it. Nevertheless I am not an aetheist, I am actually a peist-one who believes in a God but does not follow a religion. I do not follow many of what Christians teach because I disagree with it. I do believe there is an all-mighty, all-loving force. So no. I don't not believe in the Bible because I am misguided. I just dont believe in some of it.
Posted 4/20/2005 at 3:46 PM by ellalinda


Anyhow, I do agree that while the Bible does teach many good morals and love, it can be at the same time very hypocritical. Hypocritical as shown in the actions of this God who at times does not represent the all-loving and wise figure he is supposed to be but mirrors the wrath of humanity.

Kyle means to say that people are in nature good, but that doesn't mean they are always good. This is the belief of humanistic psychology. All humans sin. That's a given. While it is true religion has united many people, it is most often when they unite to fight a common enemy. In a way it is merely strengthening one sides' forces to better fight a greater enemy. To unite a people under something holy and pure like religion, one can really fool themself into thinking "Yes, We are on the right side fighting the evil or wronged enemies." And do not forget the countless crimes and injustices people commit under the name of religion. To persecute or disrespect the Jews or other religious groups. To war under the holy name of God. In this case it isn't God's teachings that are wrong. They do teach love and peace. It is the people that twist his teachings to back up their motives so that they can claim that they are in the right. Yes I know what Stephanie would respond to this. "But this is what the Muslims are like, not Christians. Those Middle-eastern people are evil. Their religion teaches them to kill Christians and those who don't follow the Muslim belief" EARTH TO US HYPOCRITES!! (No offense steph-I love you, I just disagree with you vastly in religious matters)

And what is so damn wonderful about giving up your son to take everyone's sins away? Why didn't he himself take it? Better yet why couldn't he love his creations as they are and as he has made them-Human and a little animalistic and corrupt. And why only once did he bring his son to save the people? In many examples before he instead killed most of the people that were "sinful" without much second thought.

God: "And let that be a lesson to you! I have brought a terrible end to those who have wronged the ideals that I teach so that you must learn from them and love me and my ideals and be good people. Sacrifice your soul and love for me as I have for you. (nevermind that I have broken my own ideals of forgiveness and love and nonviolence in destroying those nonbelievers and sinners)"

Oh and what is so wrong with having more than one God? It just so happens that in most modern religions, including yours, that is the way it is. Through the history of intraspecial conquest in which religion has always been a major force in, the newer forces with religion dictating the existence of one God has conquered many of the more ancient civilizations who worshiped many Gods. The point is the actual purity and holiness of the religion's teachings. While all of todays religions can differ greatly in teachings and guidelines they are almost all the same in foundation-underlying principles of love and good. To me God is merely a force of good and love that people try to interpret and want to worship. And because people are imperfect but at the same time possessing with such a amazing potential for reasoning and good (and I mean to be general with this statement for there are exceptions to everything but the very most principle laws of science) they construct religions that are full of good but at the same time tainted with hatred and human sins.

Christianity won't give someone good. I am as good as many of you devout Christians. I will not kill, cheat on a loved one, hurt others maliciously. And yet there are the Christians and the nonChristians who will do those things that our society considers "wrong" not once but many times over. It is in the people that the evil lies not in the lack or existence of belief for some religion or guiding force. Again, sadness for someone who does not share your belief is completely unnecessary if not pathetic and obnoxious.
Posted 4/20/2005 at 11:45 PM by ellalinda



Oh and yes I do know about the second coming of the Son so that isn't an acceptable comeback to yes he will save his people from sin rather than kill them.
Posted 4/20/2005 at 11:48 PM by ellalinda