The Princess of Ethiopia's 18th Birthday

Once upon a time in a far away land named Ethiopia there lived a beautiful, kind, intelligent, funny, and charming (along with a whole host of other positive adjectives that would span 100 pages single spaced if all listed) princess. Her name was Princess Linda.

It was the princess's 18th birthday and all of Ethiopia was invited to attend her grand birthday ball. As she stepped out of her beautiful castle in her stunningly beautiful yellow gown all the male guests fainted and all the female guests turned shades of green and purple with envy. It was such a catastrophic reaction that the kingdom's entire naval, army, and airforce was sent into the battle scene and whisked the sick guests away to hospitals. All of Ethioipia's hospitals were overoccupied and so the bordering ally nations willingly opened their hospital doors to house the other guests. That week those in the medical career all thanked Princess Linda for her clever tactic in boosting their business.

Princess Linda scheduled a second birthday ball the following week, but this time was clad in a plain brown rag and no men fainted and all the women felt beautiful next to her. Princess Linda was so saddened by the lack of attention she received that the very same night she committed suicide in the palace garden. The next morning the gardener found her dead body stabbed 3 times in the heart with a sharp kitchen knife, and her blood oozing green liquid for she had also poisoned herself. Furthermore, she was hanging from her favorite apple tree and her neck was slit open. It seemed that she had killed herself in 4 ways. To this day, scientists still debate and study her corpse and the death scene to determine the order of the events in which she attempted to kill herself and which killed her first.

Written by Princess Linda of Lambertville-her evil twin